Dealing with Angst
Anil Mitra January 1, 2020—January 10, 2020
Dealing with Angst
I must take responsibility, realize I must change—internally and externally, and take action to change.
It does not mean others cannot be changed but (i) the means of changing others is to change myself and how I see things, (ii) to talk to others about how I see and would like things, (iii) I cannot expect them to change or demand change, and so (iv) I will need to make the internal and external changes.
The following cycle may begin at any one of the places in it.
Tension and predisposition to self doubt and negative self image ® conflate the tension with self doubt and negative self image ® feedback and escalation (of doubt, negative feeling, and tension).
But why this negative self-image?
Is it an absolute thing in itself; or is it relative—i.e., relative to some ideal image of myself as perfect in some ways and independent of what others think (that is, perhaps the self-image is normative but I idealize it as dependent only on my thought and feeling).
If it is about an ideal image, what is the source of the image? Review my life: birth > childhood and home > school, failure, success; and sport > college, youth, friends, and marriage > research, teaching, and the world of ideas | nature and inspiration > discovery of metaphysics > work at mental health > alcohol > retirement.
The direct address of angst is not to be seen as distinct from living and general process and realization.
These ways are ordered according to
2. Personal vs community, and
3. Projects are at the end.
4. Note that the arrangement does not imply order of use or importance.
Allow pure tension and recognize that its just tension, and quieting; attitude; and analytical meditation (vipasana) seeing truth—using all sides of mind, analyzing my mental state, its dependence vs independence of others (normativity; see where I may have over-idealized ‘self’); seeing Atman = Brahman.
For sleep; and to sleep.
Sharing, doing for others, non avoidance of others, be aware of my effect on others, be aware of – anticipate – and deal with triggers of angst. Engage with awareness.
Practice to action.
Realization (writing, yogic, the phases), support, healthy living (diet, physical activity, rest).
Write—to externalize, but don’t overdo writing.
Aerobic, postural, stretching—in nature.
Seek Sangha, speak carefully, avoid toxic contacts.
Therapy might be useful. What kind of therapist? What are the community resources?
Move, trips and travel.
Look into the ways and catalysts of Buddhism, Yoga, the Gita, Beyul, Christian Mysticism, and more.
Refine my awareness and practice of the ways—see dynamics, catalysts and catalytic states.