JOURNEY – 1997



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Document Status: February 11, 2013




Evolution And Design Project: Outline

Journal: Eml

Journal: Evolution, Design And The Absolute Project

Journal: Eda. Consciousness

Journal Eda Map Of Mind

Journal: Pc Implementation Of Eml

Journal: Personality – Catalysts, Blocks And Transformation

Journal: Mathematics At Morris Meadow

Gear And Travel


The Storm At The Lake


DOCUMENT STATUS: April 4, 2019

Active: independent document, as a narrative; no further action for Journey in Being

Format and style: February 18, 1998 – the format follows the way and spirit in which the document was written; this significant and since the understanding and planning have been supersed or absorbed there is no reason to reformat for production

The following may have some useful thoughts for experiments: Consciousness


Natural and Physical

Nature: Observing, flowing dynamics. Discrete and diffuse powers of observation Nature sense. Attunement to the elements. Weather and air. Terrain, and sky. Night and day. Water. Animals. Plants. Acclimatization to the elements and requirements of the wild. Experience of place

Physical and body: Health and body dynamics especially in relation to terrain. Flexibility and attunement of body to the physical environment. Endurance and intense physical activity. Physical Quests: specific hikes, climbs, and routes. Plain and full diet


Being in nature, being with myself. Being at one with all elements and at the same time being the flowing observer. Contemplation upon and meditation of these elements. And, see the next item


New Vision. Entering the dynamics of reality, of limits and boundaries. This includes what are for me new modes or fresh awareness of new modes of knowing and being. This includes the diffuse, distributed and so on with (openness to) critical points of acute awareness, focus, choice and action. Contemplation upon and meditation of these elements. Vision, becoming and being. From being to BEING

Vision Quest. Elements and needs. Place. Regimen and openness. Messages and openness. Issue of caffeine. Purification. What is purification?

EML – the Elements of My Life

Reflect on all aspects. Include consideration of immediate and long-term fundamental and other needs. EML as a fluid whole. Include FD, EDA and J and B. Identification of the fundamental issues and questions of these projects and their management. Includes modes of J, B, K, A; include the issues of E&D. That the present somewhat B ® U, diffuse, distributed approach has validity. It is part of a cycle involving B ® U and T ® D. Focus without plan. Focus and de-focus

Specific Questions. Definition of the fundamental questions. Needs for the coming year to the next twenty-five years. EML from the present phase through EDP, JY: N, S, P and U, EDA, B, LDD+. Computer implementation of EML, conceptual development, planning, HRI and personal through U-Application: Assist and Red. Make a conceptual atlas of the World and of Nature. Reading: World, Mind, Indian Philosophy, and Projects


Vacation Dates and Planning: September 23 to Thursday, October 30th, 1997. Usually even explicit material preparation begins before the vacation. This year, other than a general idea and making the vacation request, the main preparation and planning was done starting the first day of the vacation. For planning, I thought about what I wanted to do, what would be new this year. Then I imported plans from J96 to Word 97 and modified the old plan and its format, incorporated and defined changes. Word proved to be a useful tool with promise for the future

Places. Trinity Alps. Sept. 23rd to Oct.30th

Alternates: Marble Mountains, Russian Wilderness, Carson-Iceberg Wilderness, and Kings Canyon

Travel. Arcata to Weaverville and Road-head. Sept 27th

Permit: Big Bar

The Journey

Two or Three Entries. Hobo Gulch ® Papoose Lake - or alternate

First entry: Week #1,2: Saturday, September 27th to Friday, October 10th

Second entry: Week #3,4: Saturday, October 10th to Friday, October 23rd

Third entry: Final Week #3,4: Saturday, October 24th to Wednesday, October 29th or Thursday, 30th.

Plans By Entry

Entry #1: Hobo ® Papoose Lake or alternate

1.     Objectives1: Emphasize objective #1

2.     Day and side hikes

Hobo ® Papoose: Backbone Ridge, Bear Wallow Meadows, and Grizzly Lake. Martin Gulch, Bob's Farm, Middle Fork à Wedding Cake Peak. Bear Valley Meadows and Ridge

At the lake: Lake rim, side canyons, chutes, Papoose Cirque, Mt Hilton and Boulder, Alpine & Smith Lakes

Entry #2: Same as entry #1, emphasize alternate locations if out of Trinity Alps

3.     Objectives1: Focus on objectives 3 through 4. Quest for being and vision

Entry #3: Open

Final Entries: Begin wrap-up, meditation, review, and preparation for return

Return and Reintegrate

Review and Plan for Return and Reintegration toward end of journey

Immediate actions

On coming out & travel back

Unpack, discard waste, clean & maintain gear & vehicle, launder

See Journal for details


Review of the Journey Quest and it's Concept and Reflections and Ideas for EML

What am I ready for? Certainties, possibilities and risks

4.     For the Journey J97

What I learnt, experienced, accomplished and became

Objectives accomplished? Why? Changes, deletions and additions to new Objectives and Values

5.     For the future

Changes for the next year. Possibilities through LDD+. Be focused and selective!

Plans and approaches or “how.” Focus on Sequencing, Tracks, Phases and Timelines



6.     New2 approaches to B, K, and inspiration

7.     New2 ideas for the projects

8.     Total approach. Include: being [AM] ® BEING which includes: Now ® LDD+

9.     Priorities: $ and…


10. Nature of the Journey, what is needed for “JY”3?

11. Next: JY? Preparation and plan

Print and Publish


Details omitted



EDP. Includes an extract from Assist “Primary Tasks”

PC Implementation

NV – New Vision

Jltr // Ltr: Parents // From Assist: “Dynamics of Knowledge,” and “Text System” // Nature Sense // Y Experiments // Concepts of Vision // On Personality/Self Transformation // Blocks and Transformations // Y Study [with NV] // On Consciousness and Mind // Yoga // Quest for Vision and Being // Sources of Vision


Main Essay from “Reflections on the Problems of Consciousness”

Also see EML and NV, above



Program of Development, Use Application, Production and Publication




(1) Of the work, of the form

(2) Of the implementation, of the content






EML.Structure: This is tentatively the central EML file and, therefore, THE EML file

Preliminary: Nature of this entry

Blueprint: As implied above this is a blueprint for EML

Organization: this clarifies and centralizes organization


Other EML files are - this is temporary



Dynamics and Plan: Naturally this will include some dynamics and plans and planning especially in implied or linked form. For example see the part on FP, FDP, EDP. But this is not primarily the dynamics or planning - especially detailed planning -vehicle. For that see Objectives and Tracks, Track Matrices, Assist, PC Implementation, Week Plan, and other components of EML. However this clearly is significant in setting the scene for dynamics and planning

EML.Structure: This is tentatively THE EML file.ß Repeat of Previous Heading!

Comment: 2002 – Much of this is essentially included in Journey in Being and planning

14. The variety of abbreviated forms; the distinction between the universal and the personal [Journey in Being is neutral to the distinction]

EML º the Elements of My Life and Includes Elements: the parts, the ideas

15. And the Integration and Planning

16. And the non-integration and random openness and perceptivity

17. EML = FP.UO

18. EML = ML = L = UL = "


20. BECOMING is the fundamental program - the fundamental program is becoming and its expression is the fundamental program of development. Becoming has it's own changing image of being

21. BEING is arrival, the final state of UO - of universal perceptivity, listening and action, where writing and planning are neither imperative nor avoided, writing and living are poetry even if painful poetry and music as in “I may not know what is pain, what are lungs, what am I, I may become pain, and pain may become…” being is sharing. Being includes becoming

UO = Universal Openness or Elements of Universal Openness. Even though FP É BE, UO goes beyond this in being open to program and plan or no program and no plan, to being and non-being, to existence and non-existence. It É universal perceptivity and as such includes all elements of VISION and BEING but is not restricted to any program of vision, knowledge or being. UO is a mode, which is open to rejection of program and is also prior to program

FP º The [or my] Fundamental Program. The fundamental and universal OA program É f ® d, d', ® "

22. FP = FPD.BE. FP endorses program

FPD = Fundamental Program of Development. To “Fundamental”, I may add or substitute: Basic, Universal

23. Why is this not MFPD (My Fundamental…), and why is FP not MFP? Because I do not always want to distinguish “me”, “I” and “"”! What is the difference between FP and FPD? They are related and are both forms of becoming. FP is a becoming which includes the idea of being, of openness, of universal perceptivity. FP is one step away from ", from the ultimate but remains a step away partly out of openness and in this sense is more open than the ultimate. And FP remains a little separate from " in recognition of relation to the world, the finite - it is my temporal sacrifice: I join with my complement in the finite in our dual search for the infinite which I have already found. It is love. FPD is more concrete, more objective more development oriented. In FPD I assume a fully finite human role. There is a program of development, there is planning and here is devotion and commitment to action. Yet there is in FPD still a reserve regarding commitment to actuality due to its being the fundamental and not the actual program. In FPD there is still an openness and an attitude that the program is always open to change. Of course, given who I am, that is always there but in FPD it also an emphasis. FPD further emphasizes this aspect by admitting my lacks or, more accurately, the lacks in my actual program(s) and by admitting a multiplicity of potential programs. These emphases are absent in the actual program: EDAP or EDP, which is taken up below. One comment on EDAP is necessary here. And that is that EDAP is the most general of my actual programs - it is the actual program. As such the words or any restrictive or special contextual meanings of the words “E”, “D”… do not limit it - but of course the meanings of the words and the ideas behind these meanings and the evolutions of these ideas are significant and important

EDP or EDAP5 º the Program for Evolution, Design and the Absolute or, briefly, the Evolution and Design Program

24. The most comprehensive actual program or vehicle for development of my most fundamental ideas and commitments

25. Emphasizes the program and “push” toward the end of a product or products. These products include the ideas and the manifestations of being6, the work EDA and related or satellite works, placement, the stage of being, global involvement, HRI/HEI, applications. “Applications” is used in a number of senses: actual applications to situations, applications products, applications delivery, services, consultation and organizations, applications methodologies. The sense of “application” is not restricted to the concrete and may range, also, to human, being, existential and universal modes

26. Includes all phases including planning of the f ® d, d' ® " program.= Planning experience, studying, reading, learning, conceptual synthesis, becoming, writing, computer implementation, production toward EDA

27. = Publicity, communication and publishing of EDA EDAP

28. = Placement, support including HRI

29. = Involvement of S.U: Universal, Global, HRI/HEI, Application

30. Experience, studying, reading, learning, conceptual synthesis, becoming; communication; placement; involvement of S.U at universal, global levels are also part of EML.FP.FPD and therefore, perhaps, the special emphasis of EDAP should be: Planning, writing, production toward EDA; Publicity for EDAP, EDA, and publishing of EDA and related or satellite works; support including HRI; Involvement of S: application in the concrete, human, being, existential and universal modes. Thus EDAP refers to the more actual and formal parts of FP.FPD

31. All modes of development. EDA includes a representation of the " and all its modes of knowing, being, relation and process. These modes are interactively developed and applied to EDA (and to EML, FP, FPD…) This proper, necessary and appropriate since EDA is designed to incorporate all modes and since the development is an ongoing process. Specifically this development is applied to

32. = Anil

33. = Representation of the "

34. = the phases and modes [N-S-P-U…] of development

35. = …7

36.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Experience, Becoming - Some p-b-s-y Areas: [I may place the following elsewhere!]

37. p-b: N and Body; JY… JY = A period of time to have the desired experience not a specified period of time

38. s: Work, family and other relations; Professional elements8; Other: Culinary…

39. y: Of course the distinctions p-b-s-y are somewhat artificial and, especially in NV, y phases over into p-b

40. y1. My systems:

41. NV = V for BE. V: f ® d, d' ® "/Dynamics of reality. Yoga. Assuming B. Mind. Meditation. Unconscious à Universal

42. y2. World systems:

43. Original, primal, vital, animal

44. Yoga and related

45. Christian mystic and related

46. Sufi

47. Modern secular culture: Social structure, science, belief and delusion


As noted EDP is the formal or EDA related part of FDP. And FDP is the development or doing part of FP which includes BE

EML Integration: Past-Present-Future: Being

EML É Integration:

& \Also É

But also:

EML = Elements

\ EML = L

& MLP = LP = my life plan = EML with special emphasis on plan


EML 98 the Present Challenge

I am Awed

I am facing ". --- [No lesser diversions now.]

This continues to be my choice: “You are the result of what you have thought!”

Facing fear and worse everyday

Life issues

Specific situational issues

These include:





EML: the Coming Year of Challenge

Continue on including entering, learning, looking for FDEV…

Placement. Priorities:



Professional: Eng., Ma etc., Research, Consult, Design, Teach…

The Ultimate would be 1 + 2, or 1 + 2 + 3, but 2 + 3 would also be good


EML: the Coming Year of Challenge. ¬ Add this to earlier entry of same name

Redefine self and issues

Redefine EML

Look for sources of $, especially grants that are defined for EML.FP

Entry is balanced with F, organization and selection

EML: Inspiration?

I am living it and it's not easy. FP, FPD, EDAP


HRI is the part of HEI whose product is “knowledge and its applications.”


Note: FPD = FDP

Note: the following is not particularly new, may include repetition and older modes of expression.

Phase 1: Becoming - f ® d ® "; Doing; Acting; Accomplishing

Associated learning and experience: N, U

Yoga: d = "; Do not do yug-karma if you are yug

NV: long begun: Lttrs+

Study, learning, synthesis…

N: primitive and primal; JY

S: various cultures; family; work

Numerous Ancillary to above: select


Group for production and profit/ communication, division of labor, mutual synergism, and for application

Write EDA

Phase 1: the next 10 - 15 Years

This phase is long begun.



Of course the phases are not fully distinct: practically there is always overlap, some functions are necessary at all times, and at no point am I totally closed to anything. This openness is also a point of principle. And it is related to the point of principle that being and doing are forms of each other. In “doing” focus is necessarily on process but in being one is not closed to pursuit. Being is and includes the process of flow and it is process without end. And doing includes that flow which is the inspiration of accomplishment

“Process” includes that [I] believe in, love, trust: myself, the world, life, others the living over results, the end product, success. I can also trust hate and anger

The absolute. Note the concept of belonging without effort as a meaning of the absolute.


Phase 2: Being - d = ". No particular objectives except:

BE part of world and this includes little rewards and trials. Being part of the world does not mean no effort but it does mean no effort to be part of the world and this lack of effort to “belong” means that [I] am [will be] part of the world, that

d = "

Be open to what shows up: joy, fear, death, disease, poverty - the universe as it chooses to reveal itself… less seeking, more openness but no mere acquiescing for [I] am open also to myself




EDAP: Entry of Existing Text and Manuscript

Execute/enter select items9 from: J97, Red, Black, Blue, Joan's Archives, Area 8, JQ and Supplements, Out, E&D Supplements…this point and footnote 4 are already in “Return.”

Entry by me and then ask Joan?

If entry is done by someone else:

Will pay

Entry is the main thing. I will provide the template on floppy and no further formatting needed

I will show how to save on floppy and how to back-up

I will provide the initial floppies. “You” can buy subsequent floppies and bill me or let me know and I will buy additional floppies

The work may be interesting

FPD.EDA.HEI.HRI Selling Point

I am living my ideas, my “philosophy”; and these are real not just academic; they include the academic and scholarly, but they also include full being, all being and beings and the UU10


Plan account for excesses of planning

Iterative = Feed-back, nonlinear



C, J, R, M&D…

S. Parents

They are on my side

They have both attempted to apologize. This is a very important point for the apologies have been existential in addition to specific situation related

They function within their limitations and different values, which they transfer to me

They really are getting frail

They do not understand me fully. In part this their self-affirmation: that within their own limitations to understand would be to self-deny. In part this is due to lack of perspective and experience. I have tried to promote understanding and have met with some but not complete success and I now accept this

But I might still need to carefully deal with their projection of their own weaknesses and fears and their over-investment in me as a child and in general


Please help; stand with rather than against


Evolution, Design and the Absolute a good idea for a name for the main work that continues and includes Evolution and Design and that expresses my thought and being and my attempt at having that thought and being encompass all being

Is that arrogant? No, it is my attempt, my “sacrifice”. And if I do claim, at any time to some success, this is after work and reflection. If there would be anything wrong with such a claim it would be error. But that would be a wonderful error in that I have and will have lived and loved the process. And in that I believe that “many tributaries make the river.” In that sense error would be more like a flood reduced to a trickle, a tragedy rather than a wrong. And relative to my own capacities, it will be a wonderful tragedy. For which I have and will have experienced labor and inertia, action and thought, courage and fear, joy and loneliness, doubt and despair and also wonder, thrill and dawn, dusk and deep night experience and vistas of being of design and the absolute

In the sense expressed by the thoughts above EDA will be a unitary work - and there will be a unitary work. But there is also the process that will be reflected in the work and in many satellite works and involvements

Evolution, Design and the Absolute is a good idea for a name because it includes three main overriding themes of the fundamental work and process of and behind the energy of EDA:

The Temporal, the here and now, the finite, the many. These are included in the idea of Evolution which, perhaps, projected to the cosmos is the most general, universal concept of the temporal - inclusive of indeterminism (and dynamics) for

j ® d ® ", Or: j ® b ® B

are part of evolution. The finite as indeterminate. Process determinism is a sub-case of indeterminism; and cyclicity (and hyper-cyclicity) is included when we realize that cosmos includes cosmoses of cosmoses, universes of universes and eternities of eternities

Before charging off to debate, riding on the back of a war-horse, it would be good to reflect upon the meanings of the ideas of time, of indeterminism, of process and absolute determinisms and of the global and historical/process contexts of meaning

The Absolute, the atemporal, the all, the one, the infinite and the zero, the eternal, the being B that is and knows ". The " as determinate. The infinite as determinate

The Relation, the ó, the give and take, the unity and the unities of and among the temporal and the absolute and their idea. Chimera and chameleon. Apparent and real. Illusion and reality

Of course there is a fourth theme important but at this writing I am seeing that theme as implied by or contained in the relation between evolution and the absolute. The fourth theme is:

Design, the idea of intelligence in evolution… And Design as evolution, Design as pervasive, Design as being of and as the [a] sign of the absolute. And:

If Design is the sign of the Absolute, then design is the sign of being

Other implied ideas are:

Design: the particular human process, the theoretical, the practical and the applied side. And the grounding in the symbolic and social, biological and physical and so in the primal, universal and in the absolute

Geneticism: the unity among things and beings with common origins. The explanatory power of genetic principles: common origins with continuity and internal causation

Geneticism: the above projected to the universe of universes of kinds and existents

Eternalism. Though some things have common but local - and, perhaps, temporal origins - and some things are temporal… The ", the absolute, is eternal without a or w. This includes geneticism as a local sub-principle. And, it implies an alternate direct mode of understanding and surprisingly though not surprisingly includes science but not dogma

Some Further Name Concepts for Evolution, Design and the Absolute

And so, perhaps,

Evolution, Being and the Absolute

Or, Being, Evolution and the Absolute; or, Being, Design, Evolution and the Absolute… and many permutations

The Temporal and the Absolute

With subtitles:

Evolution and Design

Absolute Design

BEING and being

The Moment and the Eternal

With numerous permutations:

Now and Then

Present and Ever

Point and Space

One and Many

The Finite and the Infinite

Determinism and Indeterminism

Determinism - the realm of the Absolute; Indeterminism - the process of Evolution and Becoming

EML.EDA Names and Titles

Accumulate notes on this topic!

EDA. Text. Titles. Some points . Title structure

The structure of a title is Topic or item. Sub-topic. Sub-sub-topic… or Element. Sub-element… this is a convenient and logical alternative to the symbolic form n1.n2.n3 In fact the explicit form with titles is an example of the symbolic form. Another example of the symbolic form is the common one in which the symbols are sequential integers 1, 1.1, 1.1.1… Both forms are useful. The topic form is suggestive, useful when the structure is fluid and text may be organized randomly and the same topic could occur in multiple and many locations; computer implementation can assist with standardization of the topics. Further it need not be unwieldy when universal symbols are used. The number form is useful for reference and lookup, for final organization and for tasks involving automation. There is nothing to prevent both forms from being combined and used in multiple ways. The numerical form could also be used in random organization especially with electronic text in which the numerical-topic forms are related in a table

The title above shows that this section relates to EDA, which is the overall topic. The global topic, U or EML is understood. The context indicates whether the entry is intended as part of a text - EDA in this case - or refers to a text and so on. In this case the present entry clearly refers to all text and so also to the text EDA, but could also be part of EDA

EDA: From E&D to EDA

In 1987 I wrote Evolution and Design. Some of the main themes were:

Relation between conscious evolution (design) and non-conscious, non-teleological evolution (mechanism, Darwinism…). The latter sometimes gives a semblance of design, intention

Establishment of an evolutionary paradigm - not that this is new:

" Realms: f ® ". U ® Mind



Relation to other paradigms of genesis or eternality, and

Explanatory power of genetic paradigm in general and specific evolutionary mechanisms/histories in particular… In the disciplines, matter, mind, philosophy, art, religion, human, social and universal endeavors

World catalog - chain of being, metaphysics, ontology

Upon which to try ideas

To build up as the final example of evolution

Implications for my life, evolutionary theory, philosophy, knowledge

Fact that (putative) blind evolution results in: matter/mechanism à consciousness. But I later realized that, in fact, ontically an evolutionary paradigm is nothing unless it allows for… f ® matter and then, within the paradigm, mind and consciousness

Revaluation of projection of teleos à universe; revaluation of social realities

Preliminary reflections on consciousness

Preliminary reflections on the absolute

“Preliminary reflections” refers to formal, symbolic and not to occasional, primal, animal and body, non-symbolic and unconscious or semi conscious modes or understanding within alternate paradigmatic frameworks at all levels. Thus there is a formal, academized paradigmatic level and there are primal, animal… modes of paradigm and actual paradigms

Implications for design, planning, intention, goals and ends, action, choice, learning: personal, human, institutional, cultural, social, y: ideal or mental, and universal

Concept of HRI, Horizon11 Enterprises

Explicit Origins of Evolution, Design and the Absolute

After completion of Evolution and Design, I continued to reflect and write:


Rigor, Logic

Extensions: projection of mechanism and mechanistic evolution to the ultimate. " is evolution

I need to be clear about the significance of this - the fact that I was enthusiastic about an evolutionary paradigm and its projections does not mean that I was blind to, or unaware of alternatives. These alternatives show up in my writings of that time, my life and my interactions with others. I also need to be clear about mechanism. It has two common elements to its meaning - the principle of locality, or blindness, non-intentionality, non-design; and the principle of process determinism. Process determinism12 is that the future is defined by or contained in the present - or, what amounts to the same thing, that the evolution of the universe is pre-determined in the “Mind of God.” Pre-determined but not merely contained for the “Mind of God”, or any mind with enough substance, or the universe in repose or in its potentiality can contain even process indeterminism and this latter is the source of the proximities between process indeterminism and absolute determinism. Anyway, regarding mechanism, I use it to refer to the principle of locality and not the principle of process determinism

Origins of the search for other paradigms; the Absolute

All is process?


Paradigm of paradigms

A move to include all modes of being and knowing; and within the subject-object ontology all modes of subject and object. Direct, animal and body... Confidence without self-consciousness…

Already present in the counterpoint to " is evolution. What is there beyond evolution? This is the origin of the absolute, which in my writing has many manifestations. Thus, for example, the absolute contains the poles of the ultimate and the immediate; the idea and the idea beyond being

Seeking manifestations: atemporal, the ": f ® ", going beyond, the absolute in the present as in “I am here in this mountain meadow; here and now begins my universe which I project through degrees and through dialog with being.”

EDA is the new synthesis; it includes E&D. And if E&D is the historical core, then it is to be revised as noted above in “After completion of E&D…” and all the developments and thought and being since then. This includes, for example, the ideas of HRI/HE and idealism, and consciousness at the level sustained in the debate from antiquity to the present day. Much has been written, much remains

EDA.Universal Symbols

EDA.Universal Symbols

Languages and Language // Hindi, Bengali and Sanskrit // World // U-language based on U and local symbols and archetypes // Add to C/PC acquisition list // Fonts: general, Sanskrit/Devnagari/Nagari, Bengali, Hebrew // Languages // MathType // DeltaGraph // Font theory // D. E. Knuth // D. Hofstatdter



Absolute vs. Paradigmatic:

ABS = [Human] being directly K-B[-R-P-A] with own organs, body, agency

d ® " is simple but " roads must be known/experienced/become. In an ultimate sense this idea is real but in an immediate human sense - over a human lifetime - it can be realized by the human capability of conceptualization whether at symbolic or intuitive, body, being levels. I think I hear the anti-

anthropocentric contingent protesting against that conceptualization is not limited to humans. I agree but I am speaking in the “humble” sense of this is the human mode because that is what I know; but I am not excluding animals or other beings from any kind of sentience. Nor am I unduly humble or

isolationist in that I claim that the animal is foreign to the human; I also seek to know my primitive,

animal, primal, physical identities as well as my spiritual-universal identities

PARADIGMATIC = by means of intermediary concepts [evolution, matter, mind…]

And so to the philosophical absolute!

E&D is one aspect of this: Being, B ® ABS through “Design!”

Combine the Absolute with NV.V

EDA.PHILOSPHY.EXISTENCE.THE ABSOLUTE: On the Existence of Beings and Entities

Example: the Absolute


Define and verify the Being

Define and verify a mode of Knowing relative to the being and its mode

Then: Use the mode of Knowing

Repeat the above: Define ® Re-define and etc

Concerning the terms “Existence”, “Being”, “Entity”

These, too, should at least be explained

Or: More above

The definitions of these terms interact with the instances: this is a field

Construction from the given

There is a Relation between (1), (2) Level of generality, (3) Degree of Abstraction, and so on. Stated simply definiteness need not be sacrificed as generality is increased if abstraction is increased commensurate with generality

EDA THE ABSOLUTE - Absolute vs. Relative Modes

As above one way to know the absolute is directly:


Absolute: Object




Complete this

Absolute Mode of K




Direct and \ relatively private

Relative = via intermediary: concept, paradigm and therefore relatively “public”

How to make the public universal and absolute?




EDA.ABS: Absolute vs. Relative Modes - continued: The Psychology of a Mode of K/B

A number of interactive mutually sustaining elements are needed:


Needed // The self-integrating, sustaining features being: // Locked // Developmental // Socially reinforced - through: // Approval… // Economics // Politics // Law and force

…Are inherently limiting in vision and \ it is not merely “prejudice” that prevents transformation. But transformation is prevented by “real” needs including survival and the intuition of survival in the psychosomatic structure… Of course, the “real” features are also within a certain context and persons have choices whether to remain within the safe confines of the context or to risk moving beyond the edge into the realm of the journey… And, again in a larger context, safety is “dangerous” and risk is safe!

Transforming features:

Development // Personality // Cultivation and culture

All the keys to vision and being: See “Guide

Integration is full only when all elements are assumed…

…Assumption of a “mode” is a multi-faceted developmental task (usually0 and is not like a garment in summer but more like the all year wear of an arctic wolf: thin in summer and thick in winter… or like “the emperor's new clothes” everybody agrees that they are there and not just because they are afraid or lying but, if because of fear, so because fear results in altered perception

Not just “conceptual garments”; more real like belief, talking, walking…

EDA.ABS. Phil. K&B

To know ", be willing to reject " and to walk away from ". To be ", be F


EDA. CONSCIOUSNESS. A Class of Experiments with the “Background.”

Here is an example that is an experiment with free vs. forced thought or memory. It is similar to the word jumble example yet different. In the word jumble example I was unable to UN-jumble a word by direct focus. Later when the word jumble was not at all in my focus of awareness a word popped suddenly and clearly into my awareness. The interesting point is that I did not immediately recognize the significance of the occurrence. It took a few seconds for me to realize that it was the solution to the word jumble that I had earlier been unable to come up with

Sometimes an association will occur despite absence of a conscious path and where I know from experience that forcing does not result in recollection. For example I might need to dial a phone number. Sometimes I might say to myself “I need to remember this phone number. I am going to try to remember this phone number. If I don't remember it then I am going to have to get my address book and get the number out of the book.” But if I am not in that mode, not looking for the number to appear distinctly in my awareness on immediate demand then the number might flash dimly into my memory and stay there especially if I do not try to hang on to it. It might begin to fade or I might doubt the accuracy of my recollection but I might go ahead and dial the number as best I can without being concerned about making a mistake. Invariably, in this circumstance I am right. Despite my doubt something below awareness knows when I am right and when it does not know that I don't take the very slight risk, I get the address or phone book. This awareness below awareness is a tool used in mental exploration. And I want to cultivate the tool and the various things it can be used to study. Contents of mind, thought, creativity, body awareness and health, developing skills such as balance and games and work and writing and calligraphy and data entry, mathematics [where did the number intuition of Ramanuja come from] and science and poetry, and drawing and music and dance. And to the relation between force and flow and between memory and thought and the flow of memory into thought and into Plato's concept that thought is memory and, surely, that the channels of thought are phylogenetic and early ontogenetic-developmental memory. Etc. Categorize and list. List and categorize. Back to the example. Recollection without forcing but by flowing could be of something once but no longer well remembered or something seen once and never clearly burnt into memory

Interpretation: “Forcing” is the attempt to listen to the loud and to see the bright, whereas in “flow” one is open to the quiet and to the meaning of the diffuse, to low voices and dim vision, to alternative little used associative pathways [pathways are after all resonant voices.] Here is the glory of the bottom dweller, of she who walks slowly at night, of he who suffers the storm to break out into light

EDA. CONSCIOUSNESS. A Role for NV. y Experiment Based on the discussion on “Blind” vs. Conscious Sight

Here is an example of some roles for NV. y Experiments in studying mind, consciousness and its dimensions

The example takes Blindsight as it's starting point. Blindsight is the phenomenon in which an individual can “see” without being aware of seeing. This is seeing without consciously seeing. I do not see any logical reason why - with the usual concept of what consciousness is - ordinary individuals cannot have blindsight but in the experiments pointed out by John R. Searle in “The Mystery of Consciousness”, 1997, blindsight is demonstrated in a very stark way on a brain damaged patient. As Searle points out this experiment is an example of how the problem of consciousness can be “approached by way of the unconsciousness.” The key in this example, Searle points out, is to ask “what exactly is the difference, neurologically speaking, between blindsight and conscious sight? What is added by the system when the same information is added in conscious form?”

As noted in the previous paragraph, blindsight need not be restricted to individuals with some unusual or abnormal or damaged condition. Further, in the earlier discussion on blindsight and conscious sight I listed a number of factors of variance that could introduce altered mental function or states that could then be the occasion for study. Additionally, I have introduced and written on - here and elsewhere13 - the idea of listening to the “quiet voices and faint vision”. These are usually kept out of the focus of awareness by immediacy14, by the loud and the bright, by relegation to the background, by various denial factors, by lack of cultivation, and by lack of apparati and frameworks for recognition. This latter approach is the one of directed awareness, cultivated over time, in which flow and receptivity are held in balance with direction. In this approach recognition grows in multidimensional layers and stages and in with each stage being built in a structured way upon the foundation of the earlier stages

In an instrumental approach normally integrated individuals would be subjected to various factors of variance. As a special case this would include the study of individuals who come to the study with disease or damage and who present an interesting case. In an experiential approach individuals undertake to cultivate the art of inner perception. It is by cultivation and criticism, and not by denial and disuse, that the art includes elements of science

Right now I am tempted by howls of anticipated reaction to write an essay on the misunderstanding and concretization of “science” and other institutions but, mercifully, I avoid the temptation but refer instead to my numerous writings on such topics

In general, experimentation would be a combination of all approaches: experimental, instrumental, experiential, reflective, cultivated, art, and science

A preliminary set of dimensions for such experiment:

Search for phenomena. Guided by neuroscience, anecdote, reflection and quiet observation, meditation and theory

Listing of phenomena. Not restricted to “consciousness research.”

Listing and analysis of object of study. Atlas of mind, world

Types of “experiment”. Experimental, instrumental, experiential, reflective, and cultivated

Conditions of variance. See the earlier discussion on blindsight and conscious sight

Self-interaction of the dimensions: some of the phenomena are also among the means of search

EDA. CONSCIOUSNESS. 1. General, 2. On or Off

General. Why consciousness? Consciousness and indeterminism. Consciousness and survival. Consciousness and plenitude. Conscious and evolution. Consciousness and the essence of being. Consciousness and the nature of the universe. The function and nature of consciousness

Is consciousness either on or off? Consider other things that we putatively recognize as on or off!

A water faucet. A drip may occur when the faucet is closed; and the drip may in certain cases become a torrent. Then, as a result of the effect of surface tension, the faucet may be open without flow. This point does not invalidate consciousness being either on or off but the analogy suggests that consciousness may occur at some neurological or neuro-psychological threshold. And the analogy may also be a suggestive when we consider that flow for a given valve opening may be irregular. Human awareness of the phenomenon may also be compared to human awareness of its own consciousness

Dimming of a light bulb. There are four considerations. Three thresholds: of incandescence and of the visible spectrum, threshold of awareness. And fourth: human awareness of the phenomena. Does this analogy suggest the possibility of awareness without consciousness; or that awareness of awareness is necessary for consciousness?

EDA. CONSCIOUSNESS. Blindsight and Conscious Sight

RE: J. Searle, The Mystery of Consciousness, 1997, NYRev Inc., pp. 199, 200

The example takes Blindsight as it's starting point. Blindsight is the phenomenon in which an individual can “see” without being aware of seeing. This is seeing without consciously seeing

Does not this show, perhaps, that (1) there are multiple “centers” of awareness, (2) there is an integrating “mechanism”, perhaps a center, for the different centers, and (3) in “normal” individuals the integration provides unity of consciousness but certain kinds of damage to the nervous system/functional brain result in disruption of the unity

Perhaps we can go beyond (2) and say that r/t humans in their environment (of adaptive evolution) there is an optimal integration

Of course, despite the qualification of adaptive evolution, “environment” is relative. That there is an immediate environment, which I recognize as being the place of most of my activities, does not make this place an absolute place in any sense. This means that the idea of optimal integration is a valid but highly relative idea. But people want to turn this lovely/hateful immediate environment in to some kind of absolute place

And the actual degree of integration may vary due to he following:

48. Genetics // variance // the visionary - a form of variance in complex spaces // the conditions of vision and being15 // disease // damage and brain surgery // altered states due to: // stress // meditation // trance // also see15 // creativity. Not distinct from above // environmental adaptation // exposure (during formation - womb - and maturation) // cultural conditioning

And, therefore, the unity of consciousness that “we” experience contingent, not necessary, i.e. is not inherent in the nature of consciousness. Perhaps the unity comes about as a result of growth; perhaps it may be fragmented at times by adaptive processes and or by damage, disease… or never come about due to incomplete development

Further, this also has implications for the apparent and putative disunity of consciousness among beings and for the on off vs. continuum aspect of consciousness

EDA. Metaphysics. CONSCIOUSNESS. “Mysteries”

The only mysteries are the ones we create!


EDA. Metaphysics. CONSCIOUSNESS. Fundamental Problem

The fundamental problem of consciousness is = or @ orº to the fundamental problem of metaphysics?


World = mp.World

= World + [our] images of it

World É images of world - we know this but it is good to be explicit about this

Image = Perception.thought.will.emotion.conscious.uncon-scious.body.resonances…

Through [the] “unconscious” the modes [of] world and image merge; and so the known and the unknown; and so the existent and the non-existent!

The Fundamental Problem

The fundamental problem is the unity of the world


The unity in question is not just that of the metaphysical world. It is also the question of the unity of my body, my experience… with the metaphysical and the infinite

It is the problem of the wholeness, the oneness, the relationships, and the relationships between the finitude and the temporality of the parts and the non-included and eternal nature of the whole

This is not to say that reductions are invalid. Reductions may be significant and important and useful but reduction is secondary to relationship

This fundamental problem is similar to what others call The Problem of Consciousness or, more generally, The Problem of X - e.g. that of reduction of consciousness to biology - but is different and much more

This position places the fundamental problem partly within but also out of the realm of the social

EDA. Philosophy. CONSCIOUSNESS. [mp]

The transformations of μπ: atom ® wave ® matter ® idea…

Remember that any position is a combination of: science, analysis, emphasis, preferences, and problems…

The role of philosophy is to analyze all paradigms including the paradigm of the paradigm or of no paradigm. And to analyze the relations between the “established” ideas and institutions. And not to reject or to necessarily reject the established or the not established. The paradigm of the formal of the body and of the lived. And of relationship and relationships. It is not the role of philosophy to sanction or to campaign especially for or against the prevailing or any other. Etc. This is ¹ not taking positions. But what is a position?

EDA. CONSCIOUSNESS. How an Idea Enters Consciousness

Incorporate the following into “reflections…” or into general writings on “Mind…”

How does an idea “enter” consciousness: relation of the entry to unconsciousness and to creation in the perceptual, conceptual, spatial-replication and other fields?

The scanning (awareness) + recombination of elements of existing ideas and random generation at all levels especially the not-fully-conscious (pre-, un-, sub-…) and the issue of association (etc.), amplification, preparation, threshold… e.g. word jumble, numerous other personal/anecdotal examples… and the writings of Poincaré, Hadamard, Koestler, and numerous others…

EDA. CONSCIOUSNESS. Consciousness as a Key topic in EML.EDA

How so

Because of the centrality of the topic in U, EML, K…

Examination of mp, ontological, existential, physical,

Biological and idealist principles

Centrality of consciousness in mind and experience

Without consciousness you are nothing

Key points

Writers lists

“Isms” list, transformation - chimera

mp, field of being and concepts


EDA. CONSCIOUSNESS Some “Problems of” and Issues

Some Problems

The Scientific Problem: Show how consciousness arises from the content of - a combination of the fields of - science. I suppose that the demonstration ought to follow the scientific “method”. This is problematic in that (i) the concepts of “science” include the rigid and the artificial, and (ii) the boundary between science and not-science include artificial element

Recent candidates for the source or “cause” of consciousness are (i) various organs in the brain, (ii) Jaynes' “The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind”, (iii) particles, microtubules and quantum gravity, (iv) cells (Crick), (v) neuronal groups (Edelman)

Searle calls the problem of explaining the origin of consciousness in biological terms “the most important problem in the biological sciences.”

The Philosophical part of the scientific problem: matter ® mind

The Idealist Problem: mind ® mind

The Intrinsic Problem:

® What is consciousness in its own - mental - terms: mind as knowing, sentient, aware…

® A map of consciousness and the place of consciousness in this map

Note: there may be repetition

® From primitive to conceptually complete notions of consciousness

Some Issues

These are a special case of relations among the modes of B, K

® B = one or many; or one and many. As many: what inner relations

® B = K or B ó K

® If B = K then explain

® If B ó K then what ó; explain

Blindsight: multiple consciousness centers but “integration” is destroyed/impaired


Panpsychism is the view that everything is mind (or, in weaker version, has mental attributes)

Panpsychism, in the sense just stated, does Þ everything is conscious or has consciousness. Or does it imply just that? For what is the point to positing a panpsychism?

There is a version of panpsychism in which everything is conscious, or is or has consciousness

If “atoms” are conscious… are they conscious… or are they consciousness?

…and are they conscious independently of me (or me of them) or does their consciousness constitute my consciousness

Am I conscious or am I consciousness?


Sufficient conditions for consciousness = sufficient range of behavior? It has been argued, and I think validly, that behavior that mimics conscious behavior does not imply the presence of consciousness

Of course, any such assertion carries with it certain problems: what is to be regarded as behavior - the usual commonsense idea of behavior carries with it certain inherent assumptions as to the nature of matter and mind which are precisely in question in any discussion of behaviorism vs. any other position

Aside from this point - although the point may also have significance for the present issue - is there not a sufficient range of sufficiently complex or elaborate behavior, which would imply the presence of consciousness?

Problem: enumerate range and ranges of behavior and criteria to guide the discussion

Some of Searle's key points:

Atomism and evolution are established

Mind, consciousness are biological features like digestion…The fundamental problem of biology (Searle says “the most important problem in the biological

Sciences”) is to explain how the brain causes consciousness

Eschews “outmoded Cartesian Categories”


EDA MAP OF MIND - Emotion, Thought, Will and Intention…Motivation…

I have written on this before: What are the elements of being, then of mind - Emotion, Thought, Will and Intention…Motivation… - are they covering, disjunct, real; are the primitive or compound; are the “ultimate” elements of mind - one or more?

Note he 1990's academic psychology doubts regarding “will”

Emotion provides (foundation for) motivation, thought and provides integration and means

What of drive, hunger, sex? Emotions are related to and mixed up with symbols, ideas, and thoughts

Two extremes: (i) Emotion is its own end and quality of emotion is the human end, (ii) thought can accomplish all! Guess which sex-stereotype is associated with each… Neither is the true picture. There are other elements; our notions of each and the other elements are primitive, in process, on the fly, which is how they are and should be! Here is a repeat of some earlier comments on reduction - “The Fundamental Problem of Metaphysics of about three pages ago

The fundamental problem is the unity of the world. Unities? The unity in question is not just that of the metaphysical world. It is also the question of the unity of my body, my experience… with the metaphysical and the infinite. It is the problem of the wholeness, the oneness, the relationships, and the relationships between the finitude and the temporality of the parts and the non-included and eternal nature of the whole. This is not to say that reductions are invalid. Reductions may be significant and important and useful but reduction is secondary to relationship

Philosophy - Being

The universe is that [current entity] which has no ultimate cause

Phil. Being

All itches can be scratched. All things can be [and are, though not recognized] known. Being is that entity which can contemplate its own existence

Science and Explanation

EDA.Phil.Science and Explanation

The institution of science makes a need for explanation of issues that are (were) otherwise unnecessary e.g.: determinism vs. indeterminism

Comment. PHIL: DET and INDET: are relative to point of view. E.g. absolute determinism is consistent with process determinism and the absolute has many layers within which indeterminism at one level may translate to determinism at another

This is not an absolute valuational issue - it is the forging of a niche… and within the cultural context of science it has positive value


PC Implementation. Miscellaneous Points

Internet as an Academic Resource

My special interests // EDAP: K-topics, Non-profits, Incorporation, HRI // Professional: Science, Engineering, Mathematics and Statistics, Legal and Medical, Psychiatric and Clinical including therapy/counseling applications // Work. Job. Administration and grants/funding // Other Online Sources // Advertising Needs // The Needs // Placement // Assistance and co-work/EML // Facilities, computer // Where to Advertise // Internet // Other Online // Stores // HSU // Bay Area and other Metropolitan // Schools, Universities and Libraries

PC IMPLEMENTATION: Organization of Documents

Overall Hierarchy:

Documents // Phases of Being and the Elements of Being // Special topics // Archive // Miscellaneous // Implementation of Organization // Completion of previous item: Items to organize files, and text… to assist and then more with the K-process, conceptual synthesis: // A folder with all pertinent (documents) // Note: W95 provides ways to list: alpha, type, size, date // May have sub-folders to organize but that function can be achieved by other ways such as the folder of shortcuts, hyperlinks… // A folder of shortcuts - this may be part of the previous folder // A single document (or folder) or a few documents (or folders) with hyperlinks // May be part of the main folder // Multiple documents/folders // K-docs/folders may also have hyperlinks // The text and data manipulation abilities of MS Office components and other programs Built in // VBA // VB5, Win32 API, C, C++, F90… // Other files: Office Applications, VB5… // Symbols for files: // Old // Temporary versions // In development // Final // Parts of a whole // E.g. by duplication // With sub-folders. Use of W95 file/folder information, capabilities, search/find, and structure in My Computer, Windows Explorer: static and dynamic // &Or: hyperlinks will be cross hierarchy and cross category rather than primarily hierarchy and category defining // List and structure these capabilities… combine with Assist, and Track/matrices // Project, Visio // Charles Petzold

PC IMPLEMENTATION: Applications Development

Possible Applications

Thinking about applications

Review and consolidate my needs // Review and consolidate existing classes of application - and implications for what exists and is possible // Review common and accessible applications [including applications that I possess] for what I can use or deploy // Review placement issues relating to support for applications and access to resources including facilities and applications // Generic Design: for now- Review VB5 capabilities ® // Optional analysis // Optional systems // Intelligent program // Print control: text/other // Interactive [That's what the visual environment is] // Help/examples // Planning/design/”expert” // Passive vs. active // Assist, vs. cooperate, vs. intelligent // Generic applications - Review above and Assist // EML Production // Design and Planning // Use of Office and VB5… to create planning/design/project management applications // Master and sub-plan // Reference to lists/databases // Lists, including to do // Select from lists // Timelines // … // AI, Design, Decision and Planning // B,K,R,A,P principles See Assist // Development systems // Text system development // Text CD development // Professional and expert/intelligent systems // Science, Engineering, Mathematics and Statistics, Legal and Medical, Psychiatric and Clinical including therapy/counseling applications // Examples // Life analysis: general, and as a game // “9” levels // Level 10 = level 0 // Therapy // Treatment planning // Managed care planning // Text = CD // Instructor can select path and modes of treatment // Text and text systems // Finance // DBMS // Outdoor systems

Programming Environments

Mainframe: IBM, DEC?, CDC, Intel… // Experimental // Operating systems // Op. Systems development // Experimental // Unix // DOS // Windows: API // Mac // Apps Development // VB5 // C++ // Java // … // ¬ Develop Application Templates

PC Implementation of EML

MS Office Add-Inns

DeltaGraph Pro


Other. See William T. Orvis, Excel for Windows for Scientists and Engineers, 1996


EML. Blocks and Catalysts. Opinions

What is the nature of the effect and what is its source? What do I want my [internal] response to be?

Self-concept and relation to the world? Action within a world view. Clearly my effective worldview - that is, my total view at all levels and in all modes as a composite or as a mosaic - is a fluctuating one, incorporating opinion, reflection and empirical elements


In a final sense a solution is not necessary. In the sense of “do I need or want to get rid of the effect” a final solution is not necessary. The problem is its own solution! Why?

When the opinion is positive or the attitude is encouraging - that can be useful! But it can be “too useful.” When negative or discouraging that can be blocking - but there are advantages to that too. I can and do turn external “criticism” whether real or fake [fake = merely based in the other's egotism, attacking] into real internal criticism, and so to correction, and so to positive growth

Amplify transferred ideation - negative and positive - so that it can be seen and used as pointed out above

Transference negativism and grandiosity are both issues

Carry on

I need change only my self and that includes who to interact with and how, when to interact with those persons

y, b considerations; med

Limits regarding interactions; a sequence of consequences; consequences are not what is done to someone else but my choices regarding interaction - regarding which and the reasons thereof I may or may not choose to communicate


Mathematics Numerical Analysis Nonlinear Equations. Rate of Convergence. A Rational Approach to Comparison among Alternate Methods



Let en be the error at the nth iteration. Then, usually

b is the rate of convergence which is 1 for the bisection method (where K = 0.5) which is slow bur sure. b is 1.618 for the secant method and 2 for Newton's method. Generally a larger b is assumed to imply faster convergence but this assumes that the work per iteration is the same. However the secant method requires one evaluation of the function f, while Newton's method requires evaluation of f and of f'. How shall we compare convergence rationally?

Use the rate of convergence per unit of time. This is the quantity of interest and therefore a rational basis of comparison. It also corresponds to the number of intrinsic operations per iteration. Function evaluations requiring different amounts of time as well as other operations (additions, subtractions…) generally regarded as trivial can be incorporated into the comparison is desired



The time rate of convergence a is defined by:



Then, if iteration takes time t, the work below shows that:









Therefore (1)






Then (2)

Comparing (1) and (2)












Let f and f' take times t0 and t1, respectively. And abbreviate Newton to N and Secant to S then ignoring additions, subtractions…


And substituting and solving the rates of convergence are the same for the secant and Newton methods when



Newton's method is faster/slower when t1 is less/greater than this value


JQ/JY. Nature. Wilderness: Gear

Rain jacket, pants // White rope/rope // Item by item // Rope net for pots/cook kit // Counterweight system/stick // Clothes hangers // Straps



XL Sack // Cook Kit &/or sack &/or organization // Tent sack // A functional backpacking lantern // Take // Nails // Small // Large, to hang items // XL, as stakes // Do // Spend time on gear. System by system and item by item review for sufficiency, need for upgrade, replacement, repair


Travel Light



At Berry Summit the Hawk did rise and fly and then skim the ground. One observation to make a whole trip worthwhile


On the trail to Morris Meadow I heard a rustle ahead and looked to see two bear cubs. One was a rusty gray brown and the other was black or a dark brown. They were both looking at me. Mother probably near, I thought with a little alarm and much curiosity. I retreated and waited. The cubs climbed a tree trunk. Fast. Their heads were visible; one from each side of the trunk, their attention riveted on me. I wondered how long I would wait but mother soon appeared. She paced, raised her head as if to catch the scent. Cubs descended the black one slowly and haltingly still focused on my presence. Then the cubs walked away from the trail toward the creek and mother followed

Morris Meadow


Two sunlit days but now - Wednesday evening - it is not as cold as yesterday but there is moisture. There are rain clouds, rain, and the scent of fresh earth in the air. The woods around me, at the edge of the meadow and in toward the forest and the scrub of the ridge, are alive. I camp at the eastern edge of the meadow. As dusk fades I am without human company. I face the ridges and peaks across the meadow and look up canyon where rain cloud gathers and I feel a connection with the primal power as at the lake. I especially feel the power of the North



10 PM, Monday Evening, October 6, 1997

Experience: Monday Evening

This storm is beautiful and brings some elements of fear. I act accordingly and carry on my tasks and preparation. The lake is beautiful. There is snow on the cliffs and trees. The presence of the storm…The animal spirit is present. I feel bear and deer. Small birds are excited. The pregnant squirrel scurries about my camp. Snowflakes strike against my tent lightly and then fill the bowl of this mountain world. Visibility falls, night comes. The night bird sings “oo - oo”. I feel. I write. There is fear and beauty

That is how I live my life. I do not forget the details. But my choices result in my living each day with fear and beauty. Fear, because I know and live with the consequences of my choices. Fear itself is contact with the real and so beautiful. Beauty is sustained by freedom for the beauty of the world. The ultimate real is not objects, things and concepts but being; and the existence and fluidity of limits and boundaries. I experience beauty because, though all these elements are part of existence and the ultimate, I make it my domain to know them in the present

Of those whom I love some have no faith in me. But I love all. And to have faith they must first know. I realize that. I exercise this choice

This may go to those whose names and addresses appear below…

I arrived at the lake on Saturday. The elevation is 6600 feet. Sunday was a beautiful day, filled with sun and warmth. At night the storm clouds moved in. At 4 AM Monday morning, outside my tent, I felt snow flakes softly against my cheek. By day break the storm filled the bowl and snow remained all day light at times and then intense. My concerns were for the conditions and the potential for ice on the cliffs. I wrote the following list

Monday night the storm cleared

Tuesday Evening

Tuesday morning was 10 F… The day was clear with blue sky, snow on the trees and slopes. The sun was lovely and warming. I felt alive. That evening storm clouds rolled in again, enveloping the peaks that formed the cirque around the lake. At night the snow began again. That night was warmer and snow alternated with rain. This continued into Wednesday morning. Rain and snow were heavy and driven at times. Ground water welled up and my gear became wet. I remembered that synthetic fiber filled sleeping bags retain some insulation when wet. Despite this and a large breakfast I was not remaining warm and I began to get cold at noon. My concern - for the potential for ice on the cliffs on the way out - remained. I felt closed in - in my wet sleeping bag in my tent

Excerpts from letters

“I am back from ten beautiful days up at Papoose Lake in the Trinity Alps... Weather turned “bad” - and even more beautiful. I faced what I felt to be dangerous situation due to the early winter storm. I had so much adrenaline that, when I decided to leave, I was breathing as I would after heavy physical exertion. My one hundred and ten pound backpack (ninety pounds when dry) felt like thirty pounds My balance, and visual acuity were much enhanced. Got to a safe place and spent a safe but cold night in a wet sleeping bag. Hiked twelve miles next day without a break except to wring out socks - wet from rain and high water in stream crossings… Now everything in Arcata seems much more real than usual. So hungry after coming out I have been eating all the time for two days. Still have two and a half weeks of vacation left and am going to go back out and, perhaps, take a road trip - include San Francisco, visit LuAnne and her boyfriend and their daughter, have some fun.”

“Was caught in an early winter storm. Actually two storms with a beautiful day in between sun-filled but cold, snow on the trees and slopes. Evening of that day the second storm came in through the valley leading up to the lake and enveloped the cirque - photograph enclosed - surrounding the lake on three sides. Alternated between snow and rain, gear got wet and I could not stay warm. The way out was over cliffs that might have been icy. Struggled to control fear, remain rational. Despite that the situation was intensely beautiful and powerful and I felt contact with my fate and reality. When I decided to leave, adrenaline had me breathing as if I was doing heavy exercise. My ninety-pound pack seemed like forty. Balance and perceptual acuity were acutely heightened. While waiting I made a list of people I love and wrote them a letter not mailed. Returning to town to dry out, everything seemed very, very real. I felt alive.”

“I just got back from the trip I mentioned in the note to Carissa. I have just had four of the most intense days of my life. I was in an early winter storm at the Mountain Lake where I was planning to spend two sun-filled weeks. The whole thing was eerie and intensely beautiful. But a lot of my gear got wet after two days of storm and I felt it was a life threatening situation because the way out of the lake is over a rocky wall which could have been icy due to the storm and therefore treacherous. I felt much panic and struggled to control the panic. Finally when the snow and hail turned to rain I decided to get out on the assumption that if there were ice on the rocks it might melt. The ice had melted but the adrenaline had me breathing as though I had run a mile as fast as I could even before I had begun to walk out. Even without the ice those rocks are rough but I found that the adrenaline enhanced my strength, my balance and my sense of what I needed to do…

“Once out of danger I spent a miserable cold night in a wet sleeping bag; meeting and sharing a meal and a tent with a hunter brightened the night. That night I had a dream. I was travelling in a bus with friends. The bus was approaching a bridge over a chasm. A bicyclist appeared in front of the bus and the driver lost control in attempting to avoid hitting the bicyclist. So the bus broke through the side rail. As we plunged nose down to certain death I had the following reactions. First I said farewell to everyone on the bus but I was not able to speak loudly enough for anyone to hear. Then I said welcome to eternity. Next I wondered how the impact would feel from contact to blackout. Finally I woke up and wondered whether I was alive…

“While in my tent during the storm I made a list of the people I love and Carissa's name was at the top




Air - free flow, Oxygen

Tent free of snow

Alert-aware but at ease. Listen to fear

Make peace


Go/stay? The lesser danger:

Weather signs

Trail - ice, traction, visibility

Re-evaluate through daylight

Drink warm water - stay hydrated

Eat carbohydrates in adequate amounts

Warm drink and food

Get rest

Get water and get rid of wastes at breaks in the storm

Enjoy. Read/reflect

Remain alert to other threats



1 The objectives are, of course, ripe with possibility.

2 New or modified. Affirmation.

3 JY is the Journey Year [experience.] It need not be a year. The period of time should be sufficient for completion of the needed experience. That would include immersion and natural attunement and acclimatization. Time and type and quality of experience will be determined dynamically during the period. A year is an extended period that includes all seasons but not the repetition of seasons or phases of life

4 Notes, taken on the journey for information and review. There is no reason to include these here since they are separately available in some form - electronically and on paper. When all old documents are updated, I might refer to them by links. If there is, at some point in the future, a reason to produce and publish my journey notes then select attachments may be included.

5 Review of the following shows that EDP includes a model or representation of EML. This is both designed and inevitable. It is the idea of each part mirroring the whole. EDA is and models EDP and, so, FPD ® FP ® EML ® ".

6 In a realist-idealist framework, manifestations of being are forms of idea.

7 Includes computer as research and conceptual tool.

8 See Assist and related sources

9 A more complete list would be compiled from Original File Review and the items listed above. Included would be Consciousness, Assist, Letters, as immediate items from Joan's Archives; and, for later, some of Menus and Restaurant Management from Indian Night, Mind and y Systems V. II, y Drugs in Medicine as examples of hand MS. Numerous other minor items are there for consideration. EE is the only significant document that is typed but not saved on disk. Finally there are the various technical/professional essays and - systems of - texts. There is a lot of material here and much of it is alluring but secondary. It is important to be selective relative the present phase and my final objectives.

10 That is universe of universes and eternity of eternities and not that Unitarian Universalist thing.

11 Need alternatives to "Horizon" - the word; and to Horizon - the concept.

12 It is not that the future is given; it is that the future is determined, known…

13 NV, Letters….

14 By a need for foreground focus! In "psychosis" the background can become shrieking, indistinguishable or difficult to distinguish from foreground.

15 See Journey Quest: Guide to the Process, 1995.